


This Isn't Team Bonding, This is a Death Match

by safety_dancer



Series: Shiratori Shenanigans [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Rated T for language, Shiratorizawa, Team Bonding, but with a lot of cursing and laser guns, do it for the team, i just wanted to write abt these kids having fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 20:57:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8637796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/safety_dancer/pseuds/safety_dancer
Summary: “Bonding exercise my ass,” Shirabu pants, ducking behind another wall, swiping away the sweat that drips into his eyes. “This is not bonding. This is a death match.”





	

It started out innocently enough; Tendou suggested taking a day out on the town with the whole team, just to have some fun and hang out. Expenses would be covered by the third years, as they were, in Tendou’s words: “generous, loving senpai who took good care of their juniors!”

“Think of it as a bonding exercise!” He had said to a skeptical Semi. “C’mon, it'll be fun.”

 

[/]

 

“Bonding exercise _my ass_ ,” Shirabu pants, ducking behind another wall, swiping away the sweat that drips into his eyes. “This is _not_ bonding. This is a death match.”

“A death match that you're going to lose~” Tendou sings, popping out from around the cover and leveling his laser gun at Shirabu’s vest. Shirabu curses and dives, but it's too late; the sensors on his vest blink and turn a bright white. “Got you!”

“Fuck you.”

Tendou only laughs before he disappears into the darkened maze that was this goddamn laser tag arena. Shirabu waits for his vest to glow blue again, and then he starts running.

“ _Where_ are all my damn teammates?” Semi yells angrily as he darts past. “Shirabu! You asshole, I asked you to _guard my back_ , and what do you do? You fucking _book it_.”

“I never agreed to this,” Shirabu snaps, but he does hasten to follow the older boy. Both run in an awkward crouch, making sure to peek around corners before sprinting through openings, staying as hidden as possible.

They both pause as a screaming Goshiki speeds past them, with Yamagata hot on his heels. Goshiki’s vest is still a solid red, as Yamagata seems to be laughing too hard to aim his gun properly.

“Oh my god. Turn around and _shoot him_ , Tsutomu!” Tendou yells from his hiding spot. He can barely speak over his own laughter.

“If I slow down, he'll get me!” Goshiki shrieks back as he takes the stairs to the second floor two at a time.

Semi and Shirabu are both snickering, when suddenly Semi’s vest blinks sadly and turns white, Shirabu’s doing the same not a second later.

“What the hell?” They say in tandem, whipping their guns around and looking for the culprit. They see no one, and grow increasingly frustrated until they hear a single, deep chuckle.

Shirabu groans. “ _Reon,_ damn you!” He takes off, Semi not far behind.

“I never even fucking _see him_.” Semi gasps, glancing behind suspiciously. “It's terrifying.”

They duck underneath the stairs, their chests heaving as they try to catch their breath.

“Hello.”

Both Semi and Shirabu would later deny their matching screams as they turn to find Ushijima crouching beside them, his face cast in an eerie blue glow.

“Ushiwaka,” Semi says, “How long have you been here?”

“About ten minutes.” Ushijima stares out into the maze with a scarily focused look. “It's a good spot. Tendou keeps forgetting I'm here, so I shoot him every time he passes.”

Semi bursts into laughter. “That's messed up,” he says, slapping Ushijima on the shoulder. “I love it.”

“You guys are so loud, don't you realize that stealth is the key?”

“ _Shit_.” Shirabu quickly brings up his gun, his eyes darting frantically. _“_ That's _Reon_ , where the hell-”

All three of their vests simultaneously go dark before glowing white, and Shirabu slams the gun to the ground in a fit.

“I'll get you eventually!” He shouts. “Just you fucking wait!”

The only reply he gets is another low, happily evil chuckle.

 

[/]

 

“Let's all agree to _never_ do that again, oh my _god_ ,” Semi says as they all file one by one out the arena exit. He pulls his sweat-soaked shirt away from his chest with a grimace.

“Are you kidding me?” Yamagata grins crookedly. “I have never enjoyed anything more in my entire life. We should do this, like, once a week.”

“How about once a _year_. This came out of my pocket, I can't afford once a-- wait, where's Goshiki?”

The team pauses and looks around, only just noticing the absence of the first year. Yamagata looks like he's trying not to laugh. “I'll go find him,” he says.

“But who actually won the game?” Tendou asks, leaning back and looking up at the scoreboard displayed on the screen hanging above the exit door. “First place was Oohira.”

Reon hums happily and smiles at Shirabu, who mouths a silent, _“Fuck you_.”

“Wakatoshi was in second place-”

“Probably because of all the points he made off you.”

“Kindly shut up, Eita. Moving on, Hayato was in third, SemiSemi in fourth, I was in fifth-”

“ _Ha_! I beat you. You owe me fifteen bucks.”

“Shut _up_ , _Eita._ Literally nobody asked. _Anyway_ , Kenjirou was in sixth, and Tsutomu in seventh.”

“Sixth…” Shirabu frowns and crosses his arms. “I want a rematch.”

“That's hilarious! No.”

Shirabu opens his mouth to argue (he has a reputation to defend, dammit!) except the door opens with a bang and Yamagata comes out, tugging along Goshiki, who looks dead on his feet.

“Just leave me here,” Goshiki moans “I'm too tired to move.” He goes dead weight, and Yamagata barely catches him before he hits the ground.

“You're so fucking dramatic,” Yamagata wheezes out between bouts of laughter, struggling to hold the first year up. After some maneuvering, he manages to hoist Goshiki up on his back. “Shit, kid,” he breathes, “Why are you so damn heavy?”

“It's all muscle.”

“Oh, of course.”

“Did he get lost?” Tendou asks as the pair joins them, a grin on his face as he pokes at Goshiki’s cheek.

“I found him in that little alcove on the second floor. He was just kinda laying there, staring up at the ceiling.”

“Honestly, I've never seen him run like that before,” Reon comments, almost to himself, “He looked like the hounds of hell were after him.”

Yamagata barks out a laugh and almost drops Goshiki, but quickly adjusts the first year (who was now dead to the world) more securely on his back. “Fuck,” he says, “I feel a little bad for him now. But damn, if that wasn't the funniest thing ever.”

“I thought it was a good exercise,” Ushijima says. He looks at Yamagata, Semi, and Shirabu in turn, and adds, “Our team will win next time.”

“You implying that there _will_ be a next time?”

“Of course there will be!” Tendou says, throwing an arm around Semi’s shoulders. “You heard our ace, this was a good exercise, so we should totally do it more often!”

Semi shrugs Tendou’s arm off with a roll of his eyes. “Whatever. But yeah, I plan on coming in first place-- _if_ we ever play again. I'm coming for _you_ , Reon. Watch your back.”

Reon smiles good naturedly and pats Semi on the back. “I look forward to seeing you try,” he says.

“‘ _'Try’_? Oh, it's _on_ now.”

“If you ladies are done,” Shirabu cuts in, “I saw an ice cream parlor down the street. Last one there pays.”

Everyone immediately takes off running down the street, leaving a struggling Yamagata behind.

“Fuck you all!” The libero shouts after them, scurrying along as fast as he can with the dead weight on his back. “Fuck every single one of you, that's so unfair.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was probably the most fun I've ever had writing something. Comments/kudos are appreciated!!


End file.
